48 years ago today, Apollo 11 landed on the Moon. The whole world was in front of the television. Almost 240,000 miles away, somewhere in the White House, one person was holding his breath. His name was William Safire, then-President Nixon’s speechwriter.
Two days prior to the landing, he had sent a memo to the President’s Chief of Staff, H. R. Haldeman, with some short remarks to be used in the event of a disaster. Now, Safire was about to find out which speech Nixon would deliver.
Bill Safire was a major figure in Washington. He’s the one who had set up the famous Nixon-Khrushchev “kitchen debate” in Moscow, which would eventually land him the speechwriting gig at the White House.
“Safire’s unsuccessful moon-landing speech is an example that communicators of all kinds should follow.”
I should say that I’ve never been a big Safire fan. I’m more naturally drawn to speechwriters like Peggy Noonan. It’s worth re-reading the speech she wrote for Reagan after the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger on January 28, 1986.
But Safire’s unsuccessful moon-landing speech -- very much like the statement that General Dwight Eisenhower had prepared on June 5, 1944 in case the D-Day invasion failed -- is an example that communicators of all kinds should follow.
Safire knew that he was working for posterity, and he was keen on hitting the right tone. You can listen to him discuss the speech here.
Here are 4 reasons why that speech has stood the test of time:
First, it is short. With 233 words, it is shorter than President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address (278 words). And Safire knew that, no doubt.
Second, the speech builds on a carefully crafted message. We all remember Neil Armstrong’s famous words as he stepped onto the surface of the Moon: “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” Safire mentioned “mankind” three times in his remarks. “Mankind” is actually the last word of the speech.
Third, sometimes using the passive voice is a good idea. Look at that paragraph: “They [the astronauts] will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.” Not only did Safire use the passive voice throughout, showing how little control humans have in such dire situations, but he also cleverly made use of repetition as a rhetorical device.
Finally, notice as Safire never used “I”. A good speech should be personal. But here, it was not about one individual, or one country. It was about humanity and what brings us together.
Think about it tonight when you look at the Moon.